Thursday 20 September 2007

Kevin's Covert Operation Part 3

Part Three of Kevin's Report uncovers the tedious boredom our Pigeon Lady has to face. Kevin.

Thank You Trevor, and I hope you escape from that big pile of sand soon. Well, as you can see, I'm back in the office, and I have found a fellow undercover reporter. This is Merrill, and he is a mouse.

Merrill is investigating the abuse of mice in the workplace, and how they are being used as slaves, often to the extent of rendering them into cybermice against their will. The plight of mice in laboratories are well known, but this mistreatment of mice is still overlooked, and as Merrill tells me, any of the mice in this office would love to wear a bit of lippy if it meant that they could stop being made to roll around on their balls all day.

This gadget appears to be new. The Pigeon Lady appears to enjoy stamping lots of bits of paper with it, and gets a gleeful look in her eye when doing in. Sometimes when the bitchy manager is talking to her in a patronising way, a fancy that i see the same gleeful glimmer in her eye, like she is imagining stamping the aforementioned managers head with it. But this is only speculation so don't quote me on that.


It seems that The Pigeon Lady still has not developed any sort of taste when it comes to mug choice. This effort is nearly as bad as the first, with the same boring, uninspired pattern. The only thing that is improved is that the mug is much larger than the first, thus allowing more tea. Only time will tell if ugly mugs are going to be a recurring theme in this sorry tale.

This was Kevin Pigeon, reporting for Kingdom of Trevor, from the Office.

Sunday 16 September 2007

Sutton-on-Sea

Well, here I am! Stop panicking everybody! Your favourite mini pigeon has not been made into a pie, caught by anyone from Wacky Races or indeed encountered any other mishaps that befall unwary pigeons. Well, apart from this:

Yes, ha-bleeding-ha. Just cuz we go to the beach, the Pigeon Lady thinks its hilarious to bury me. It's not. I got sand everywhere. These fathers are dry clean only you know.
Anyway, she quickly gets bored, and wanders off to look for shells, and so I'm left to my own devices. So, whats a pigeon to do, alone on a beach, with only a mental and her mother for company? Well, as the only vaguely intelligent life form (the seagulls are most unrefined), I claim the beach on behalf of The Kingdom. Its now ours, folks.
And what is a Kingdom, without a castle??

Yeah, ok, so its not much of a castle, but it has a moat. I was going to build a truly magnificent palace, with turrets, and a drawbridge, but the sand wasn't wet enough. And I'm not going to the sea to lug a bucketful of water back, because the salt plays havoc with my plumage.
Bored with my mound-of-sand-castle, I do what everyone does on the beach (I'm sure) and dig a big hole.

EEK!


Oh no!! a cave in! I should have known that this sand was too dry!!



Will Trevor escape? Will he get the sand out of his feathers?? Will the seagulls ever learn to talk in polite conversation??? Find out in the next episode of.......KINGDOM OF TREVOR!!
*Cue the music*
d-nur nur nur nur nur nur nur
TREVOR!!